Relax! How to Calm Down Successfully
Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.
Do you tend to be high strung, stressed, anxious, over wrought, or tightly wound? Do people tell you to “take it easy” or “calm down” or “just relax” sometimes?
In a 2021 article in Psychology Today, clinical psychologist and author Dr. Andrea Bonior wrote,
“In all my years as a psychologist specializing in anxiety, and as a relentless observer of human interaction, I can’t think of a single time where the words “Calm down!”—especially shouted in a voice that is itself tense—had the desired effect. Whether it is during an argument with your partner, as a bystander to your child’s tantrum, or in a stressed-out moment with a critical colleague, “Calm down!” often has exactly the opposite effect.
If you type “relax” or “calm down” into a search engine, you’ll find billions of relevant listings. Most of these are simply common sense or superficial temporary fixes. Most are variations on a few themes. Some are so useless that they’ll cause the reverse outcome.
Freedom from tension and anxiety
What you’re looking for is something that gives tangible relief, is easy, accessible, doesn’t have bad side-effects, is endorsed by scientific research, and is repeatable at will every day.
The ocean has waves on its surface and still silent depths below but when we’re swimming, our experience is of the ocean’s surface. In the same way, you might be caught up in thoughts a lot of your time, but deep within you is a field of silent peace—and you can access that part of yourself easily. During the Transcendental Meditation technique, the mind transcends its turbulence to a settled inner wakeful state, infusing peace and contentment into daily life.
As renowned fashion designer Donna Karan says, “It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos.”
Donna, like many other women, learned the Transcendental Meditation technique. Even during your first sessions of TM while learning it, the transition to an experience of deep rest and calm—both mentally and physically—is extraordinary. By the time you’ve completed your four-part TM course of instruction, you’ll know how to do the technique on your own, spontaneously and effortlessly triggering the experience of deep relaxation each time.
“You can go inside yourself where it’s always calm and peaceful.” ~ George Harrison, speaking about the Transcendental Meditation technique.
The benefits come fastest with the prescribed 20-minute twice daily practice. With this repetition of deep rest to the mind and body over time, the settled state (along with clarity and energy) during TM extends into your active life and is sustained more and more in all your days and evenings.
The goal of the Transcendental Meditation technique is the state of enlightenment. This means that you’ll continually experience inner calmness even when you are dynamically busy.
Prove it!
Done! Neuroscientists have found that during the TM technique the brain produces a distinct pattern which corresponds to the state of relaxed inner awareness. This foundation of inner calm becomes a feature of daily life. Physiological research shows that deep rest during TM reduces stress and psychosomatic diseases that are caused or complicated by stress.
To date there have been around 430 research studies on Transcendental Meditation published in top scientific research journals around the world. The broad range of scientific findings on the TM program—from increased happiness to decreased disease to a more harmonious society—includes evidence of deep rest, inner peace, stress reduction, and anxiety reduction.
Conclusion
The TM technique has both immediate and cumulative effects. It’s really unnecessary for tension, stress, and anxiety to define your inner experience, personality, and quality of life when you can become more calm and collected day by day. (If you’re interested in scientific validation of these statements, read on….)
Scientific validation: a review of ten studies
Anxiety, Stress and Coping: An International Journal 1993. Reduced Job Worry and Tension; Reduced Trait Anxiety; Greater Calm (Lower Skin Conductance) During Task Performance; Improved Physiological Settledness, Satisfaction with Professional and Personal Life
Journal of Psychosomatic Research 2001. Decreased Resting Systolic Blood Pressure; Calmer Response to Stress, as Measured by Systolic Blood Pressure, Heart Rate, and Cardiac Output Reactivity
Anxiety, Stress and Coping 1997. Significant reduction in trait anxiety occurred over the three month treatment period in the group practicing the Transcendental Meditation technique. After a three year lapse without ongoing instructor support, state anxiety, trait anxiety, and self-concept all measured significantly improved in the TM group.
Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine 2013. The Transcendental Meditation technique (TM) has a large effect on reducing trait anxiety for people with high anxiety. TM was compared with various control groups, including treatment-as-usual, individual and group psychotherapy, and various relaxation techniques. Studies on high stress groups, such as veterans suffering from PTSD and prison inmates, showed dramatic reductions in anxiety from TM practice.
Geist und Psyche. Munich: Kindler Verlag, 1979. Reduction in Nervousness, Depression, Increased Self-Confidence The practice of the TM technique was found to result in cumulative benefits for psychological health.
American Journal of Hypertension 2009. A randomized controlled trial on effects of the Transcendental Meditation program on blood pressure, psychological distress, and coping in young adults. The TM group showed significant improvements compared with control subjects in total psychological distress, anxiety, depression, anger/hostility and coping.
American Journal of Hypertension 2008. Blood pressure response to Transcendental Meditation: a meta-analysis. Subjects ranged in age from adolescents (15-18 years) to seniors (M age 81.3 + or – 9.8 years). The Transcendental Meditation technique was found to produce a statistically significant reduction in high blood pressure—an effect not found with other forms of relaxation, meditation, biofeedback or stress management.
American Journal of Health Promotion 1998. All approaches to preventing and reversing the effects of stress are not the same. Scientific research now clearly shows that different procedures of meditation and relaxation often have very different effects on specific variables. Meta-analyses have found that the Transcendental Meditation program is superior to ordinary rest; that it is more effective in reducing anxiety than other meditation and relaxation techniques; more effective in increasing self actualization than other meditation and relaxation techniques; and more effective in reducing drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and cigarette use than other standard treatments. All these changes can be seen to result from the state of relaxation and coherence that the Transcendental Meditation program specifically produces.
Biulleten Eksperimental Biologii Meditsiny 1996. Restful Alertness Stabilized. Dynamic features of the modified state of consciousness during Transcendental Meditation. This study found EEG indications of restful alertness during and after the practice of the Transcendental Meditation technique as measured by increased stability of alpha activity, increased beta power, and reduced slow wave delta and theta power during the practice of the TM technique and the persistence of these EEG spectral distribution changes immediately after the practice.
Japanese Journal of Industrial Health 1990. Effects of Transcendental Meditation on mental health of industrial workers This was a five month study conducted by the researchers at Japan’s National Institute of Industrial Health. (A branch of the Japanese Ministry of Labor) industrial employees practicing the TM technique showed increased emotional stability, reduced anxiety, decreased tendency to neurosis and reduced insomnia and smoking compared to controls.
It’s easy to relax when you know how. Contact a TM teacher.
About the Author
Janet Hoffman is the executive director of TM for Women Professionals, a division of TM for Women in the USA
