A Widow’s Memoir: The Role of Transcendental Meditation in Navigating the Healing Process

It’s been 14 years since my husband Harry passed away. I still think of him everyday and the love and appreciation I had for him has grown even more. At the time of his passing, I was fortunate to have strong support from my family and friends—I wasn’t alone. I think a harder situation in becoming a widow would be if one lives alone afterwards. 

I took it one day at a  time. I got up everyday and put one foot in front of the other. What else can you do? Looking back now, I see I had some degree of PTSD. My mind, body, and soul were in shock because his passing happened so suddenly. We never got to say goodbye. 

Anger, sadness, and disorientation spontaneously arose periodically. I chose not to leave my own house and yard for some time. One is feeling so delicate; I felt a little shy to be around people, but the wonderful community I live in was amazing. Friends provided meals for six weeks and spent time with me, not shying away from talking about death. Even when their kind words would touch the depths of my heart and tears would well, they stayed with me in the moment and that meant a lot to me. Their words of expressions of love and admiration for my husband were a balm to my soul, even when my heart was touched so deeply that I would start to sob. But because of my many years of doing the Transcendental Meditation technique, the crying would only last a minute and then the inner fullness I experience as a result of transcending would be restored. 

Transcendental Meditation can help a widow by providing deep rest that calms the nervous system and mitigates the intense stress and anxiety of grief. The technique allows for the reduction of difficult emotions, such as shock, depression, and anger, in a gentle way that fosters inner peace and resilience. 

Transcendental Meditation improves a widow’s experience in many ways, including:

• Restores a sense of calm: The deep rest experienced during TM calms the nervous system, helping to reduce stress and anxiety and restore feelings of peace.
• Reduces depression and anxiety: Studies have shown that regular TM practice can reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety, which are commonly experienced during bereavement.
• Enhances focus and clarity: Grief can cause “brain fog,” making it difficult to concentrate and make decisions. The TM practice helps improve total brain function, leading to greater clarity and focus in daily life.
• Improves sleep quality: Grief often disrupts sleep, leading to insomnia or oversleeping. By reducing stress, TM helps to improve the quality of sleep, which is essential for healing.
• Increases resilience: Regular TM practice strengthens emotional resilience, helping a person to bounce back from adversity more effectively. 

The TM technique helps build a new sense of self: after years of being a “we,” a widow’s sense of identity can feel lost. TM helps reconnect a person with their inner self, which is a strong foundation for the rebuilding of a meaningful life. My identity is always me, and even though it did change somewhat when I married, on a deeper authentic level I never lost the knowingness of my Self. I attribute this inner freedom from change and this sense of stability to my then 40 years of TM meditating. Here are some published studies that corroborate that experience:

1- Transcendental Meditation, self-actualization, and psychological health: a conceptual overview and statistical meta-analysis. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality 1991 6(5):189-247

2- Meditation and postconventional self-development: a 10-year longitudinal study. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality 2005 17(1):93-122

3- Influence of Transcendental Meditation on a measure of self-actualization. Journal of Counseling Psychology 1972 19(3):184-187

4- Psychological findings on Transcendental Meditation. Journal of Humanistic Psychology 1976 16(3):51-60

5- Effects of Transcendental Meditation on self-identity indices and personality. British Journal of Psychology 1982 73:57-69

6- Serotonin, noradrenaline, dopamine metabolites in Transcendental Meditation. Journal of Neural Transmission 1976 39(3):257-267

7- Adrenocortical activity during meditation. Hormones and Behavior 1978 10(1):54-60

8- The Transcendental Meditation technique, adrenocortical activity, and implications for stress. Experientia 1978 34(5):618-619

9- Effects of the Transcendental Meditation program on adaptive mechanisms: changes in hormone levels and responses to stress after four months of practice. Psychoroendocrinology 1997 22(4):277-295

My symptoms of PTSD lessened over time, with acceptance that this separation from Harry had been meant-to-be, because, in reality, you cannot change it anyway. It’s so permanent. But this experience showed me the depth of my strength—that even in the midst of sadness, there was still joy and bliss. 

Even though the personal loss was shocking, the stability in my life continued and for that I am grateful every day. Even though I’ve had several losses—like most of us—mine were always cushioned by enough time passing, my loving family, my loving community, and the anchor of expanded consciousness that I’ve been blessed to experience through the TM technique. 

It’s true: time does heal. And with the TM technique twice daily in one’s routine, the time it takes to recover is less, and the value of the time is greater.

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